The official almanac of the Oppenheimer’s Ballsack fantasy football league — champions, records, rivalries, and shame.
17-11 on the season
Oppenheimer's Ballsack has been running since 2023 — four seasons of redraft football played for a buy-in, a trophy nobody has ever physically held, and the right to talk about it until September.
Everything on this site is pulled straight from Sleeper: the standings, the records, the head-to-head ledgers. The parts Sleeper cannot count — the rivalries, the shame, the constitution — live here because somebody had to write them down.
New managers are found by word of mouth and vetted by nobody. If you are reading this and you are not in the league, ask the commissioner.
2025 · Week 14
Mud Dogs delivered exactly when it mattered, dropping 214.40 on Njigbas in paris — an 85.82-point statement win that locks up the 6th and final playoff spot outright. Saquon My…
Read the recapsNot wired up yet. Transaction history lives in Sleeper and this site does not read it — when it does, every trade, claim and drop shows up in this column.
2025 · The rockfiles (rockpil3)
rockpil3 went 11-3 with 2378.94 points in 2025 — the best regular season anyone has ever put together in this league — and lost the semifinal to nomerci11, who had gone 5-9. nomerci11 won the championship the following week. rockpil3 took the third-place game, which nobody remembers.
2025 · Xx Tua Girls One Kupp xX (SlyyyHooper)
Xx Tua Girls One Kupp xX finished 2025 at 4-10 in last place, punctuated by a 74.30-point Week 6 — the fourth-lowest single-game score the league has on record.
2024 · The Median Minimizers (MudDogs69420)
MudDogs69420 closed 2024 at 9-19 (4-10 head-to-head, 5-9 on the median game) with 2060.32 points for — last in a ten-team field once Sleeper's median game counts. EStone finished the same 9-19 but stayed off the bottom on 66 more points for.
2023 · MudDogs69420
Finished 2023 at 3-10-1 with 1447.50 points — dead last in the standings and last in scoring, 133 points behind the next-worst offense in the league.